Fare's Wonderland

Yeah, that's it. I'm just tired of this. Although I chose to do it myself. Still, I'm such a sucker at anything that has to do with Photoshop. Just trying to think about something right now but I'm sure it'll look like crap. Like always. I already feel like it does. Nevertheless, I'll probably take it, since I'm working at that already some hours and it would make me sick not to present it. FFFFUUUU---
Some days are just bitches.

I'm pretty bad here. I tend to hold grudges against people. I'm still angry at someone although I told her I'm not. But there's just nothing she could do to make me trust her. I'll always mistrust her, my lifetime long.

I did confront her but I never said what I actually wanted to say. I did it, because I knew that nothing was going to change if I wouldn't have talked with her. She did bad things I don't want to think about it anymore, but she did hurt me badly. And I hated her for that. I didn't tell her, though. Now we're something like friends and... I can't confront her with anything anymore. I can't tell her I hate her. I guess I'm a liar myself.
But I would have loved to tell her, that she's a bitch and that she's freakin' using every person close to her. And that I hate her. I wish I would've said that.

My biggest fear is to lose someone who's important to me. And I don't really think it's possible to overcome this fear.

Yes, I actually depend very much on the opinion of other people while working at creative things. If they don't like it, I don't like it, either.
So, I grew to be quite hard with myself, always imagining people to say the worse about the things I create.

I think, that a soulmate exists and that I already found mine. I can laugh with her about everything and I feel like nothing can tear us apart. She always listens to me and she makes me happy. Oh and we're quite always thinking the same things in the same situation.
I want to believe that she will always stay by my side but as life's a bitch (and big one, that said) something might happen so that we go different ways... for a time. But I definitely believe that we will always find our way back to each other.
And yes, I don't think of my actual partner to be my soulmate but rather of my friend. And she's not even my best one. Just my soulmate, that is.

So, here I am again, telling you about my life.
Main Theme:
KINGDOM HEARTS 358/2 DAYS! ♥
Oh yes, how good it feels to play it, finally. I waited so lang for it!
It's awesome! I'm already at day 300, I think, so it went pretty fast.
Generally said, the game is a really good one. And me, as a Roxas fangirl, HYPE! HYPE!
Oh yeah, that's JUST what I wanted. Screen time of Roxas in KH II was far too little. Really. So I enjoy playing him now all along.
Although I must admit that I imagined him being more badass than that. I have no idea why. Maybe because of the black coat? %D Haha. But no, really. On the other hand, I can understand why he's like that. Well, pretty much like Sora, right. Another friendship's man :D
Well, however, it's a lot of fun and it's not too easy (as I thought it would be). Some missions actually are pretty difficult. Oh yeah, I hate Never Land.
It's making me sick to glide around. I'm probably just too stupid to control Roxas while gliding but I think personally it's pretty hard. I didn't like that in the previous games, either, so I guess... that's a natural thing about me, haha xD
Oh yeah, I enjoy the mission mode a lot. I think Axel's pretty awesome to fight with. Uh, uh, and Marluxia. Heck, I love the scythe! ♥
So... that's that for today!

I felt like writing but I know about what.
So I'll just write whatever comes to my mind. I actually should be doing some homework, but duh, I'm faaaaaaar too lazy for that. Besides, it's Maths D: I didn't understand a thing last time that guy talked. Even though I should have. But I'm probably too insanely stupid to get ANYTHING in Maths. It's just not my subject.
So that was that about school. When I came home, then, and switched my computer on, I saw that I still had looooooooots of pictures to check out. Oh yes, I'm hyped by someone new. And NO, it's not the usual Minato and/or Souji. Or Hei. Or Roxas. Or... gosh, I have far too many guys I'm fangirling about. Well whatever. The new (unhappy) winner is:
Yuri Lowell from Tales of Vesperia!
Just because he looks awesome! Not much like a real man, but anyway. Like someone said:
'Yuri's the only guy who's looking hot although he looks like a girl.'
So true. So true. And I like his attitude. He's so... not heroic. Or at least not as much as every other freakin' hero of every freakin' RPG. He's not all good hearted and kind, he can be an asshole if he wants to (and that's not rare. Haha.)
Unfortunately, I yet have to play Tales of Vesperia (due to my lack of... new gen consoles) but I'm definitely and totally determined to play that! I will! Yeah, I will, even if I'll have to borrow a 360. Or until then maybe a PS3, since that version is not sure to come here to Europe.
*sighs* Jeez, those guys and their impressions of Europe. Seriously, I was pissed, when I heard that Tales of the Abyss wasn't coming to Europe, just because it didn't sell very good in America.
Up until now, EVERY and yes, I'm quite sure that EVERY Tales of sold more than just avergae good here in Europe. Hell, Tales of Symphonia was a hit! But no, dear concerns are deciding not to send 'em over. Ffff. What a bullshit. I mean, what is that?
I was scared that they wouldn't even bring Tales of Vesperia over here D: So... I'll hope for every PS3 only that the PS3 version of Tales of Vesperia will be coming here, too :D I'd be really glad for them! ♥ It's definitely a great game worth playing. Yes, I may say this even if I wasn't playing it. At least I wasn't playing it myself, but I watched someone playing. Not everything though. But what I saw was really awesome!

Phew, I think that was enough. See ya then, next time, guise! ♥

Ffff. School is as boring as always. It started two weeks ago and I'm still not used to it. I hate it. Especially Maths D:

But now to something better:
I just cut my hair! Oh yeah, guys, I cut my hair and it looks freakin' awesome!... Well. At least it looks good. It's nothing special, though. I don't have a special hairstyle, aynway. Everything else would look weird. Seriously, I once tried having short hair but it looked like crap. Thank god my hair is growing quickly!

Something more:
I played now Pokémon Platinum a longer time. As for now, my team looks like this:
Monferno, Lv. 30
Espeon, Lv. 31
Floatzel, Lv. 30
Gabite, Lv. 31
Staravia, Lv. 33
Luxray, Lv. 35
And I have currently 5 badges. Next City I'll have to go is Canalave City!

Plus, I'm SO awaiting Professor Layton and the Diabolical Box! It's only 2 weeks until its release here. But unfortunately, I have no money.
And, of course, there is Kingdom Hearts. FZKLJSW *-* Gosh, I'm hyped.

But that's that. See ya somewhen soon again, then I'll probably talk about KH :D

Wow, it's been forever since I've made my last post, wasn't it?
Well, here I am again. After returning from my boyfriend I had a bunch of games with me. Let me think which that were...

1. DEVIL SURVIVOR! ♥
OMG, I adore this game, although it's really frustrating at times. I still didn't manage to beat Belial's ass up but duh, I know that someday I will! With the right demons && level everything will work out. Of COURSE, I adore the main character to death 'cause he looks like my overall fangirled Minato from Persona 3.
Dunno, but does Atlus have a weak spot for guys with head phones? Or for blue-haired characters? I mean... it's not like I dislike them... hrhrhr ♥
Music just as always fantastic. One tune is always in my ear after playing it: Action ♥

2. Odin Sphere
I didn't even get over the first book. I'm still stickin' with Gwendolin 'cause I was caught by a bossfight I didn't expect && of course I don't have ANY items left. But I liked the game so far and I already know I'm gonna love Oswald ♥ White hair, red exes... my fangirl heart is DEFINITELY beating for him.

3. Kingdom Hearts: Chain of Memories
After some problems with the GBA thingie (yes, I actually bought the GBA version), I got over the first two levels. I'm stuck in Olympus 'cause butthead Hades is keeping me there. I had problems with Cloud, but he wasn't invincible. But that flamehead is making me sick!
Still, it brought back old memories and I start being really, really excited because it's just 49 days left until 358/2 Days comes out here :D Ffff. Roxas, good boy, I'll have you back again ♥

4. Castlevania Double Pack
Wow, another title for GBA. I'm getting retro here. Anyways, the titles contained here are Harmony of Dissonance && Aria of Sorrow. After being a big fan of Dawn of Sorrow I just had to play Aria of Sorrow. Soma again, geez, how I missed you ♥ It's fun to play && Aria of Sorrow certainly seems playable from the level of difficulty, while Harmony of Dissonance is much like the older Castlevanias... harder, harder and harder. It's okay, though. It's still playable in comparison with the game of hell Order of Ecclesia which is not superhard but megaultrahard D:

5. Pokémon Platinum
For me, as a hardcore Pokémon fan, I was eager to play Platinum but to be honest until now I just got into the first city and haven't catched a second Poké yet D: What the hell is up with me this unmotivated? D: omething's not right. Well, I liked Pearl anyways so I think as soon as I'll play it I'll like it :D

As for other games I've played recently, OF COURSE, Persona 3, my third playthrough now. I'm now at October 2nd, 2 days before full moon. Man, I'm so not looking forward to that event DX
Then there is good ol' Tales of Symphonia. My seventh time. Wow, not bad, right? :D I'm playing it currently with my wonderful mum, which is always right beside me, playing either Lloyd or Zelos and making my life a bunch easier. I'm now just a step before the final battle, am just doing the side quests now. Fffffu. If I think about Niflheim, I'm getting sick but... what should I do, I'm a 100% gamer. And my mum? She's a 110% gamer. She would do even things which can't be done D: She's a freak, guys!
I guess I'll stop here. Will e coming back soon to molest you with my life 8D

I'll be away for a time, guys. Two weeks of vacation. At my boyfriend's place. Epic win ♥ I'm so happy <3~

OMG. OMFG. I just watched the second season of Natsume Yuujinchou and I so cried ;w;
It was so wonderful and at the same time sad. But not in a bad meaning sad. It was touching and the feeling was so... the only word fitting for the whole anime, season 1 && 2 would be wonderful and awesome.
Takashi Natsume is your average boy on your first look, but he is able to see spirits & demons. That pretty much said is at the beginning of season 1 the story. He inherits the 'Book of Friends' (Yuujinchou) from his dead grandmother. In that book there are names of all sorts of demons and sprirts written and as how Natsume can see them, he eventually ends up giving them their names back, one after another. This being said: If you have the name of a demon/spirit you can control them. So Natsume could have used it otherwise... if he wouldn't be so much of a sensitive person. Thorughout the anime, both seasons, it is almost unbelievable how much he changes.
While at the very beginning he disliked almost everything and everybody around him, because he was always left alone due to his unusual power, at the end of the second season he appreaciates everybody around him, whether they are humans or ayakashi. Especially the relationship between him and Nyanko, his bodyguard, made me cry. At the beginning of the anime they were distanced and everything. Natsume made the promise to give Nyanko the Yuujinchou if he dies. Nyanko accepted this with more than just joy, I think. Being a very powerful ayakashi called Madara, it was even more entertaining seeing him afterwards as a cute, but fat cat in his disguise. Both Natsume and Nyanko were always somewhat close but they felt in the first season still somewhat distanced. Afterwards, in the second season they were both so much fun to watch. They were always teasing each other but as well caring. Especially Nyanko at that point, who always said it wouldn't be because he worried about Natsume but because of the fact that he, as a mighty ayakashi, would be disgraced if a lower ayakashi would hurt or kill Natsume.
That made me somewhat cry at the end when Nyanko admitted being worried about Natsume and Natsume would just smile. OMFG ;w; So uber-awesome.
In general, the whole anime was dealing one main theme: loneliness.
At the very beginning it was Natsume who was always alone but during his encounters he met a lot of ayakashi (and people!) which were alone, too, and which suffered a lot because of it. That made Natsume realize that actually he's not the only one having this kind of problem and so he wanted to help them out. By doing that, he lost a part of his loneliness but the persons he helped, too. So many encounters and every encounter was helping both sides becoming more open, more happy with someone around.
I could go on and on, but I kinda guess I should stop it here.
Oh, sure, to add a fangirl's comment:
DAMN! I love characters like Natsume. He's so freakin' cute and I want to protect him every time I see him! ♥♥♥

Also: I WANT A THIRD SEASON! I WANT!

OMG. I just got chocolate, you know? This is so awesome! I love chocolate. It's what I need to live. Plus, it is sweet and yummy ♥
As for my usual day, it was okay. Not too bad, but not too good, either. I'm looking forward to play further. I already thought about playing Star Ocean but somehow I lack motivation for that D: I wonder why... Ah, yeah, sure!
I'm very into Photoshop right now. I don't think anyone would request after all, but if someone wants something, I'm doing it :D I'm a noob, though. Or still.
My PS style is often described as very simple, but effective. Dunno if it has any use :D
Ungh, I think I'll go play FF IV. Chu you~ ♥

Actually, not. I'm a little stalker and everything, but private things are to remain private. Of course, I'm very curious and I ask, but I never did without permission.

So... I end up making another senseless entry. Whatever, it's much fun <3
As I said, I'm playing Final Fantasy IV on my DS. Although it's simple made (as being a remake), it has something addictive. I hate the bosses (I know, I said that once)but I think I never tried as hard as here to beat their asses up.
I love the fights, they're not too long neither they are very complicated. It needs a little time to accommodate with it and if you're a busy or multitasking-loving person, it's a little hard. I see it for myself. It's not good eating && playing FF IV at the same time.
Ah, of course, I have a major crush right now on Cecil. He looks awesome as a paladin, seriously. Makes me want to rape him.
Oops. The fangirl out of me spoke again. Gah.
I'm going to play a little more now! See you in a couple of hours, when I get bored again! ♥

G'Morning, guys. I just woke up and I think now this day totally rocks.
Originally, I should be in school, but I'm not, because no-one went. :D
Nice! So I have all the day time to make... nothing, actually. I don't have any plans but as I know myself I'll probably play FF IV. I got so addicted to that game, just the bosses are pissing me off, somehow. But I love that game! It's simple but awesome. Very nice.
Maybe, I'll be experimenting with Photoshop, although I don't think that something nice'll come out of it. Just like always.
Just yesterday I sat on my wallpaper ages to make it look a little more fancy. Based on a very nice colouring of Roxas I tried to make the best out of it. Well I like it, but I'm sure, I'm the only one :D
Whatever, I'll go and search for something to eat first ♥

Darn. Classmates are a drag sometimes. Really. Tomorrow... we'll have classes in another class. Just for two days. But they couldn't decide whether they go or not.
Now, at this time, they're all asking me and telling me, they're not going, although I already told my parents I would go tomorrow. Big drama, of course my mum allows me to stay at home, but damn you, couldn't they have said it earlier? D:
It makes me so rage. They can't decide on anything. Never. It one happened to me, that they all said, we aren't going but then I was the only one actually staying at home.
Gosh D: How stupid can I be sometimes?
I just hope they said the truth and that they're really doing the same hing like me:
Staying at home and not doing anything.

Yes! Finally! It's my birthday, guys! I'm so looking forward to my chocolate cake! (I know, I said that a bunch of times now.)

It doesn't feel different, now that I'm 16 but still! I'll have a nice LITTLE party with my best friends and good is :D

Kinda feel like a star today, everyone wanted to talk to me first, that's awesome! ♥ I'll have to go, take a shower now. I want to be beautiful when visitors come along, yeah? :D

I finished my text, finally. What a drag they have been D: It was a pain in the ass to write them but I'm more than happy that this is over now. The presentation itself won't be that difficult anyway.
I'll be reading everything from that paper and then it's okay.
But now I'm really getting hungry and everything.
Though, I'm right now at writing a story. It's far too romantic for myself, normally, but somehow I need something like that, from time to time.
It's not a big story or somewhat but I like it. :D

I'm pretty tired, after all. But I have to continue, for the sake of Ivan D:

He is a pretty complicated guy. Oh Ivan...

I wish I could have a little vodka now, to be more merry and happy. I guess, I would be happier then. Well, whatever, chocolate would have been okay, too :D I'm probably getting a chocolate cake for my birthday, and I'm so looking forward to it :3 Really, I don't care about the presents too much, as long as I'll have my chocolate cake *-*